Friday, October 26, 2007

Winkie And Me

This is a little passage from the book that I am reading right now . It's called Winkie .. I won't say much more about it, but I just felt like Winkie was me .... or maybe wished that I could have been Winkie ....


But as if this were the magic though – as if acceptance, through some paradox, also broke the spell- just then Cliff turned to him and sat up on the bed.
"Hi, Winkie," he said. His gray blue eyes were huge,moist,and full of love. How long had it been?
Cliff came over to the shelf and lifted the little bear down, holding him in his arms like a swaddled infant. Winkie’s good eye had neatly clicked shut; the other was lodged open. How long had it been since he was held so tenderly?
"I never play with you anymore," Cliff said, solemnly gazing down at him.
True, the bear thought. He wanted to snuggle deeper and he wanted to squirm free. Half in ecstasy, half in rage, he could only gaze with his one bad eye back up at the boy who had spurned him. Yet as if that cockeyed gaze suddenly held some power of persuasion or even truth, the boy’s face now crumpled into remorse.
"I’m sorry, Winkie!" he sobbed.
And the old bear was cuddled up tightly into Cliff’s arms, which now shook with grief.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

A Bunch Of Feelings...

Feeling the right moment to say something I have held for quite some time...
Feeling the dreading inside of me with my lips moving to say it...
Feeling the embarrassment over a very foolish thing I did...
Feeling the stray butterfly in my stomach flutter because of a smile from ‘someone’...
Feeling the tear sting so bad in the back of my throat because I have fought long and hard against it burning my eyes when it shouldn’t...
Feeling the sour defeat under the unbearable gush of that same tear and her likes finally winning their rightful track on my cheeks.. but well,I’m safe now ... I’m alone.
Feeling the childish joy when I discover how a new thing works...
Feeling so down...
Feeling the anger boiling inside me with a never ending day...
Feeling a nice dream and just surrender to a yummy sleep...
Feeling a shard of my broken heart dig deeper into my soul...
Feeling the intoxicating fresh and blue scent floating right into me...
Feeling too sleepy to smile ...
Feeling too happy to fall asleep...
Feeling the delight of a new meal I’m sharing with my new-meal-testing partner ...
Feeling the bitter truth biting my ass every now and then, shaking it off didn’t work too well either ...
Feeling grateful for a very great day spent with very great people...
Feeling the rush through everything in my being in a moment stolen from heaven...
Feeling the rush of the being I united with in that very moment ...
Feeling so high ...
Feeling the harsh blade of a cold stare ...
Feeling the urge to shout my heart out ...
Feeling the right moment come and go with my tongue tied...
Feeling the deafening roar of guilt after a screw up ...
Feeling the soft skin my fingers touch through to my heart ..
Feeling the sweet sensation of a warm kiss ...
Feeling the shock after a dreadful nightmare ...
Feeling the soothing calm voice keeping me safe after that nightmare when hanging up after a hushed phone call...
Feeling the tingle of soft breeze on my face reminding me that I am alive ...


But I never .. never wanna feel the disappointment of hesitation , you are too precious for that ...