A Birthdayyy

Someone once said "another birthday,it's not tragic. Hoping it would turn out to be MAGIC".
I say "another birthday,party everyone. You are just glorious as ever now let's rock on".
Hoping your day has been a funny, crazy, evil, sweet, eventful, cuddly, adventurous, amazing, cool, yummy, secret, and passionate.
I'll make sure your year is as great as you are my greatest Iyado. Happy Birthday.

Lots Of Words ... Only About You

You are ...
You are lots of words .. I will just try to remember some of them in here ... n I'm sure you know what I wanna say and all the rest :)

Awesome , the bestest ever , careless , sweet , great , sarcastic , gentle , sleepy , stylish , so clever , handsome , sensual , crazy , sneaky , amazing , elegant , hard-headed , smooth , naughty , sharp , supportive , charming , loyal , energetic , cute , nice , funny , smart , strong , breathtaking , clear , tough , patient , trustworthy , creative , really huggable , sensational , graceful , so much fun to be with , warm , free , so so attractive , reliable and larger than life ...

All in all ... you are... You. :)

Ever The Same

Call it boredom... Call if blackness... Call it a tire of life...
Or it simply might be just a bad day...
One hug away and just breathe it all into me .. let me carry it with you and we will work that together... Just like ever ...


Ever the same – Rob Thomas

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now
Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end
Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same
You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same ...


Forever it’s you ... forever in me ...
Cos I can give you love and much more ...

Winkie And Me

This is a little passage from the book that I am reading right now . It's called Winkie .. I won't say much more about it, but I just felt like Winkie was me .... or maybe wished that I could have been Winkie ....


But as if this were the magic though – as if acceptance, through some paradox, also broke the spell- just then Cliff turned to him and sat up on the bed.
"Hi, Winkie," he said. His gray blue eyes were huge,moist,and full of love. How long had it been?
Cliff came over to the shelf and lifted the little bear down, holding him in his arms like a swaddled infant. Winkie’s good eye had neatly clicked shut; the other was lodged open. How long had it been since he was held so tenderly?
"I never play with you anymore," Cliff said, solemnly gazing down at him.
True, the bear thought. He wanted to snuggle deeper and he wanted to squirm free. Half in ecstasy, half in rage, he could only gaze with his one bad eye back up at the boy who had spurned him. Yet as if that cockeyed gaze suddenly held some power of persuasion or even truth, the boy’s face now crumpled into remorse.
"I’m sorry, Winkie!" he sobbed.
And the old bear was cuddled up tightly into Cliff’s arms, which now shook with grief.

A Bunch Of Feelings...

Feeling the right moment to say something I have held for quite some time...
Feeling the dreading inside of me with my lips moving to say it...
Feeling the embarrassment over a very foolish thing I did...
Feeling the stray butterfly in my stomach flutter because of a smile from ‘someone’...
Feeling the tear sting so bad in the back of my throat because I have fought long and hard against it burning my eyes when it shouldn’t...
Feeling the sour defeat under the unbearable gush of that same tear and her likes finally winning their rightful track on my cheeks.. but well,I’m safe now ... I’m alone.
Feeling the childish joy when I discover how a new thing works...
Feeling so down...
Feeling the anger boiling inside me with a never ending day...
Feeling a nice dream and just surrender to a yummy sleep...
Feeling a shard of my broken heart dig deeper into my soul...
Feeling the intoxicating fresh and blue scent floating right into me...
Feeling too sleepy to smile ...
Feeling too happy to fall asleep...
Feeling the delight of a new meal I’m sharing with my new-meal-testing partner ...
Feeling the bitter truth biting my ass every now and then, shaking it off didn’t work too well either ...
Feeling grateful for a very great day spent with very great people...
Feeling the rush through everything in my being in a moment stolen from heaven...
Feeling the rush of the being I united with in that very moment ...
Feeling so high ...
Feeling the harsh blade of a cold stare ...
Feeling the urge to shout my heart out ...
Feeling the right moment come and go with my tongue tied...
Feeling the deafening roar of guilt after a screw up ...
Feeling the soft skin my fingers touch through to my heart ..
Feeling the sweet sensation of a warm kiss ...
Feeling the shock after a dreadful nightmare ...
Feeling the soothing calm voice keeping me safe after that nightmare when hanging up after a hushed phone call...
Feeling the tingle of soft breeze on my face reminding me that I am alive ...


But I never .. never wanna feel the disappointment of hesitation , you are too precious for that ...

The Very First Time

Do you remember the first time you did something? Whether it was so sweet or disastrous, that first time almost never leaves the memory...
The first toy you broke...
The first spank you got from your Dad for breaking it...
The first shoe you ever picked over your Mom’s choice...
The first fight with your sibling over the larger piece of chocolate...
The first day at kindergarten...
The first glance you got from a girl when you were 7 or the first red heart sticker that a boy in class gave you and ran away...
The first punishment you got from a teacher...
The first drawing you were very proud of...
The first lie you still feel guilty of telling..
The first time you ever dressed yourself the way you wanted...
The first time you fell and went back to your Mom with a bleeding knee and a false brave look...
The first shot that hurt your butt so much and were embarrassed to say so...
The first sand castle you built and were so angry at the waves for taking it down...
The first plant you grew...
The first nightmare you were afraid to tell anyone about...
The first song you were fascinated by...
The first crush ...
The first flutters of love for the next door neighbour...
The first pain of a broken heart...
The first horrible haircut you spent the night crying about...
The first try to reach out and touch a hand just inches away from your own...
The first daring trip you took...
The first card you received...
The first time behind the wheel ...
The first truest kiss from a lover...
The first hug you breathed your frustration into ...
The first cake you ever made and ate alone because no one came near it...
The first clumsy present you made with your own imagination...
The first tear of loss...
The first sweet dream you wanted to keep secret for ever...
The first moment you lay sweaty with a smile after an exceptionally active eternity...
The first time you ever felt the sweeping sensation taking you away...
The first minute you have a family of your own ...
The first time you looked at your new born ...
The first spank you give your child for breaking his toy ...
The first moment .. Of the rest of your life ...

So tell me … Do you ?

WHAT ?

Should I or shouldn't I ??

I guess I asked this very question lots of times before .. and almost always had an answer too late ... but not anymore .....

Should I or shouldn't I break down and show the whole world that I am feeling weak at this very moment ?
Should I or shouldn't I go on with this losing battle with a college I hate ?
Should I or shouldn't I do something I so wanna do but am scared to do it ?
Should I or shouldn't I run in the middle of this dirty alley .. run so fast I don't get to stay behind and watch my tears land on the ground ?
Should I or shouldn't I forget ?
Should I or shouldn't I let myself go and laugh my heart out ?
Should I ?
I think I should ... not !!!!


Update :

I worked out some answeres to those ..
yes , no , yes , yes , no , yes .....